Sunday 26 August 2007

The end is at the beginning yet we go on - Part 2

Words are all we ever had and words are what elude me as I struggle with where to begin. Once when I declared a similar dilemma to you, you responded that the beginning was always a good place to start. But how do you define the true beginning within the tangle of stories making up the causal chain that bring two people together. How do I begin to tell this story when the story which should have ended continued to write itself and over wrote ours, your internal tsunami drowning out all my hopes as that very real tsunami had done yours.

Wednesday 22 August 2007

The end is at the beginning yet we go on

Today it has been 7 months and 11 days since the last time we were together. But then again, we were never together.

I could list forever the million and one sensations of love we never experienced. Like how we never found ourselves lost in the depth of each others eyes, felt the warmth of each other’s embrace or breath or the reassuring beat of the other’s heart close to one’s own. Ours is a story that was only ever real in unreal plains. Our proximity was a mere illusion created by a computer program and cables asleep on ocean beds carrying electronic dreams thousands of miles.

So why this delusional yearning for a presence that never was? How cruel an imagination that makes me recall the feel of fingertips tenderly brushing stray tendrils from my cheeks? How foolish a mind that remembers whispered words that were only ever pixels on a screen?

From many a definition of reality our story is merely a dreamscape lived in our imaginations. But aren’t all stories born of the imagination. Isn’t reality the sum of all stories?

So this is just another story. Actually this is just half a story searching for its other half.